Hi Friends and other Co-Creators!
Clarissa here, veteran CCOR member, who has not been posting much this year. Not sure why it hasn't felt right to do a challenge, but I have still been creating and learning much about myself.
I started my Season 10 on October 18th, so I'm about 1/3 through. Here are the Intentions I started with, since I haven't posted yet this season!
1. I Feel and BE LOVE every day, living with an Open Heart to others.
2. I touch others on a soul-level and am touched in return.
3. I stay on the path of my career focus (Voice-Overs), allowing the steps to be clear and do-able, and am paid for doing work.
4. I experience daily fun, play, joy, creativity, and laughter.
5. I experience close and growing friendships here in Portland, both with new and old friends. I feel part of my community, and have female friends to hang with, have fun with, laugh with, cry with, and just be with.
6. I feel blissful in my body, becoming stronger and healthier every day. I listen to my body's cues and do what I know is right to nurture and heal it.
7. I have perfect Clarity about my marriage. We have a harmonious plan to go forward in peace, love, and mutual understanding.
I am having a bit of a rough time since I started, I'll be honest. My emotions have been on a huge ROLLER COASTER RIDE for several weeks, and I'm pretty darn tired. My marriage has been in a rocky place for some time now, and we are probably on the road to separation. I hadn't wanted to talk about it in CCOR because it felt like a negative thing. I have now made peace with it, and am realizing that relationships ebb and flow, come and go. They are not set in stone, and we don't have to feel bad about needing something different as we grow older and change.
I love my husband, but we have not had joy in our marriage for a few years. What is it they say, "If you love something let it go." I am doing that now, and the process is very painful, full of tears, and uses much of my energy. I'm doing this challenge as a practice in itself, to give me structure to my life again as it is unraveling, preparing to be knitted back together again...
Not to be a downer, there are some great things happening for me, too!
1. I am accepting myself more and more, taking care of my mind, body, and heart.
2. I am meeting people more, starting some friendships, especially through my son's school.
3. I am laughing more, having more fun with my son, watching movies, listening to good music again, and doing more social things. I had forgotten how much I love these things!!
4. Clarity is coming, in many areas of my life. There are ups and downs but I am moving forward with a plan for my husband and I to live separately yet work on our relationship. I am solid in my intention to do Voice-Over work, but I haven't the energy to do much about it right now.
So, I've been busy sorting through emotions and challenging myself to be Open again, and to face those fears I've had so I can pass through them.
Will post more soon, I miss this place and my connections here! LOVE TO YOU ALL!