Another busy weekend as usual, filled with fun events and hanging out with friends, seeing movies, and reading. I just love my life so much it is ridiculous! Today was certainly momentous for me, church today had a huge impact. This is a science and mind church and there was a guest reverend today who really struck some important points home. The first was that we as individual humans search so much to find someone to love us, which shows the world we matter, which means we exist for a reason and are validated. He said we actually have it backwards, because we are here is the proof that we matter, we are here for a reason, and that allows us to love more completely. Because we aren’t looking for something, we already realize we have it within us. I liked that thought, and I acknowledge on many levels it is true. The second one, that struck me profoundly was his example of a toaster, what does it do, it turns bread into toast. But it has to be plugged in to provide its function, otherwise it just exists. No matter how long it is unplugged, hours, weeks, years, you plug it in and it immediately makes toast again. It doesn’t complain or feel sorry for itself that it was unplugged or need to work through its ‘issues’, it is connected to its power source and immediately provides its function. Wow! Yeah, I finally got it, when we went into meditative prayer, I had the thought that I was plugging in to source right then and right there. I felt the most unbelievable power shockwaves running through my body all the way from my head to my fingers to my toes and back again and again. I barely have the courage to write this, but it was like a spiritual orgasm. I don’t know how else to describe it. It lasted for several minutes and when I left church I had a dull headache for almost an hour afterward. It was really really cool! I feel like I made a major breakthrough today, I don’t understand it or the effects but I know it was good.
Only managed to get in 10 minutes of meditation today, that seems such a short time now, but even in that time I can feel my brain waves change. When I’m done I feel a little light headed and I don’t know, different. Yesterday I went to yoga and tried to meditate in the class there and failed miserably, I was so focused on the environment and the heat that I couldn’t relax into it, though usually I can. We tried something called Bees Breath which was neat, I really enjoyed that and it truly focused all my attention on the breath.
All this last week I have just been so inspired and motivated with lots of ideas for my business and ones that I have even put into practice and have been getting orders with. In addition to that I feel like I can also feel people’s energies that are around me. One of my friends just kept giving off a negative depressing energy it was difficult to be around. I kept trying to be cheery and optimistic but it didn’t seem to be doing any good. I mentioned it to my other friend when we left and she said she didn’t notice. To me though it was like she was screaming out loud how unhappy she was. I don’t know but I think the regular meditation is having an effect on me and my life. I feel different, I think differently.
Day 91 – 15 minute meditation, was too short, I was in the gap when my zen alarm went off. I was envisioning a giant key with lots of branches or something rising out of the earth. I didn’t understand it at all but I had a feeling it was very cool. Day 92 – I did a 25 minute meditation, it took me a bit to get in. And on Day 93 I did a 20 minute meditation, which I was thinking a lot again, but I did get there. Then Day 94 and 95 were yesterday and today.