The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Hello friends -

I abandoned my Season 5 almost a year ago and although I wasn't blogging I managed to get into a positive state of mind and maintain it. Good things happened - temporarily:

My relationship started again - he actually came back to me, which was entirely unexpected. However, in fear of losing him again, I chose not to address the problems/talk them through. And he seemed to have matured and learned a lot from our seperation and was genuinely trying. I don't think I had ever been happier in our relationship...for a while. Then it all started dwindling where he started digressing to his old immature behavior for much of the time and I realized he has commitment issues. When I confronted him about what our future might hold, he freaked out and reacted really unkindly and we split up....again. Now we're talking again about trying to work things out, but I feel quite resentful towards him and I feel he can be incredibly cruel to me. I'm not sure what will happen but I am trying to be strong.

Work has been at a complete standstill. My old manager threw me under the bus when it came to my promotion. My new manager was a much better advocate and when he successfully got my promotion approved, there was a budget issue preventing my receiving it. I'm disappointed and feel ..well I feel like a failure.

My side business is also at a standstill. Despite making a lot of progress, I have hit a roadblock with investment. I purchased a condo in January and have put a lot of money into it, so I don't have a lot of liquidity to take my business to the next level.

My headaches stopped after I started doing Bikram Yoga, but a couple of weeks ago I got sick and with a lingering cough, I'm not able to go back even though I was on a great rhythm and managed to lose some weight.

I have to admit, things have taken such a low turn for me that I've been wondering if there is any point to continue in this lifetime. I'm lonely and sad and I'm not seeing how things will ever change for me. I've forgotten all the things I have to be grateful for. I've seen other peoples; lives move in the direction I want to go and feel like I'm left in the dust.

So I've decided to make another effort at the LOA and see what I can accomplish and give it another shot.

Wish me luck friends....

pj

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Comment by Zara on May 15, 2010 at 7:00am
WELCOME BACK PJ:)
It's soooooo good to see your back! Yes don't give up this is the perfect time to get back into the LoA. They say this is the point when you think about giving up that things will turn around and wonderful things start to happen. I have so much news to tell you and hopefully it will inspire you:)x
Comment by PJ on May 13, 2010 at 12:22pm
Thank-you for your words of encouragement Sunshine and Brileigh! I hope this seasons sets me back on a positive path and good things happen for me. I'm going to try to manifest as much as possible to get me believing again..or remind me how to vibrate on a positive level again.
Comment by sunshine on May 13, 2010 at 7:55am
I agree with Brileigh, never give up. I am so happy you have come here to start up with the loa again. Since you are on your season 5 you must have seen good results throughout your other seasons so remind yourself of all the great things that came about during your past seasons. Sending you love and sunshine and am looking forward to hear about all the great things that will be happening to you throughout the next 100 days :)
Comment by Love Life on May 13, 2010 at 1:49am
All I can say is NEVER GIVE UP. I have had my fair share of problems, believe me.......it was not nice. And believe it or not everything does happen for a reason. I found this out truly just the past few years....I've come to the point where everything has happened has taught me great lessons........and those lessons have made me such a strong person. Yes I sometimes still do come across problems.......but it's nothing I can't face....just believe that YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR FUTURE with a few shifts in thinking........must constantly think postitively, and believe that your future is going to hold a brighter one!!

In The Secret they say that everything that happened in your past does not make who you are. Who you are is from this day forward.....yes it may be wise to take what you've learned from the past to make you better today!!

Peace & Love,
B

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