Hello friends -
The last two days have been a little busy but the pace has been good for me. I've not felt overwhelmed, except for by my emotions from time to time.
To be honest, yesterday was a bit of a blur. I woke up exhausted but having slept deeply and was a little late to work. I left work a little early and went to Best Buy to look at the iPad which I am considering buying. They were all sold out but I got to play with the productivity apps they have which is what I was concerned about. I would like to manifest an iPad as its much pricier than I thought it would be for me to get the storage capacity I want.
I also drove to my hot yoga class yesterday but as I sat in the parking lot waiting for someone to leave so I could get a good spot, I realized I really didn't feel like doing hot yoga and went home instead. I think I do better when I don't force myself to a certain routine as I can't hold that pattern for too long and I get sick of things too quickly.
In the evening I did some work, called a friend I hadn't chatted to in a while, but who is always so nice to speak with, and later in the evening "he" called but he ended up upsetting me again since he was pretty insulting in some of the things he said and then he called back to apologize.
Today I woke up pretty exhausted again but made it into work on time. I had pretty full day and went to hot yoga after. I feel good after its done, but its tough going through it! When I walked in I saw one of the instructors there who mentioned it had been a while since she'd seen me in class. I explained I was pretty sick for a month and it threw me off my routine. She very purposefully said to me that it makes you grateful for your health when you go through something like that doesn't it? And waited for my reaction. She said it so intentionally that I wonder if she could read my aura or something and tell I wasn't feeling very grateful about much these days, even though I have loads to be grateful for - such as stuff as simple as my health. At the end of the class, I got a little teary-eyed. I've been told in previous classes and read how some of those poses help you release a lot of emotion, but never experienced that until today, although I did feel pretty emotional at work all day.
In the evening I decided I'm going to see if some friends want to go away on Saturday to celebrate my birthday (which is the next weekend). It might be fun and "he" also said he would come, as a friend. Truthfully, I couldn't imagine it without him and I know thats not healthy, especially given our history.
I have a meeting with an executive tomorrow and I have to be careful no to show how unhappy I am at work as he is able to impact my job progression, so I'm hoping to make a good impression. I'm also looking forward to tomorrow evening when I have plans with a friend and some of her friends to go see the new SATC 2 movie. Then I've taken Friday off as I've heard and read quite a bit about Amma and she will be nearby here then, so I will go see her for darshan and open myself up to that experience.
Peace, love and joy to all -