I added a video last night but felt its good to get this in writing too.
I think its been nearly 2 years since I did a challenge, maybe less, time sure has flown.
The last time I was here I experienced a lot of depressive thoughts, negative thinking, looked outside myself for answers a lot of the time, was quite an obsessive Abraham Hicks follower, I worked in retail.
Now, 2 years on. I left my job in the last season. I did this on instruction from a vivid dream in sleep state. I have since had confirmation that the place I last worked at has changed but for the worse so I was right to leave.
I left also with the strong belief my deep dream of travelling the world would happen. I lived, ate it, dreamt it. I truly believed I would walk out of that job onto a plane to New Zealand. Needless to say - it did not happen.
This was not a bad thing.
Beneath that dream was a whole lot more to be unveiled.
So I have spent 2 years releasing blocks, walking in nature, spending a lot of time alone. I suppose in a way, I kinda had an urban retreat. Rarely saw anybody apart from my house-mate in that time. It was a challenging time, yet a positive experience.
I let go of Abraham Hicks teachings, kept only the basic simple essence of them, and let the rest go. I realised I needed my own thoughts, my own insights to come to me not simply repeat the Hicks teachings over and over again till they sunk in.
I had to let go of that part of my journey, I am very glad I did.
I still believe in the law of attraction but probably in a different way to most people. I feel resistance is also part of the creation process. If all the puzzle pieces of life are to come together at the perfect time sometimes we need a parachute on the back of that high speed motorbike called life to slow us down so we meet those puzzle pieces at exactly the right time.
I had not even considered doing another season here until my friend Andy Bowker mentioned it to me and I suddenly had this strong feeling I needed a challenge. As I am not working, life has taken care of me beautifully for the past 2 years. However, I had lost my focus and so need a period of time to re-focus. I also find the challenge a great motivation, as if I have homework each day that I need to get in to my teacher, yet I am my own teacher so I am reporting back to me. I also love the support network here.
In the 2 years I also began a new hobby of entering competitions of which I have been pretty successful at. BUT I was aware of some resistance to money/abundance. So I started using EFT again a couple of weeks ago, I had used it in the past but it had not been the right time for particular sessions I was working with. Now is the time.
I have been tapping consistently on the subject of money via Brad Yates and Margaret Lynch on you tube.
Margaret's old money paradigm is what started off this beginning of releasing some old stuck energy, it surprised me.
I tapped on old money paradigms to do with my family story. I did not think it would go deeper and take me to the point where I let go and forgave my mother regarding my fathers death. I had previously had a lot of resentment and anger towards her, and saw her as the bad person when I was growing up and my father was on a pedestal.
I used EFT on my guilt, sadness with how I felt about my fathers relationship with money and eventually it brought out my feelings about my mother. I was able to see she was an equal in the relationship and that she was not a bad person after all. This was a big relief.
From this I am now tapping on procrastination, motivation and fear of money - regarding my old money paradigm.
EFT was great in that it helped me realised I had carried the money paradigm of my father into the realm of SUCCESS. I saw my father work hard and it was never enough. So this stopped me even trying to achieve anything in life because of the paradigm I was carrying. So I am still tapping on this, it takes consistent effort. Some money blocks are deep and need persistent unravelling with EFT.
So I come to this challenge with a new mindset, I feel more positive in myself. A lot more positive. Entering competitions was my way of learning to receive abundance and now I am going to use the challenge to embrace success, achievement and to learn to truly believe in myself.
My intentions for this season are:
I am using the NANOWRIMO site to write a novel in 1 month. An exciting challenge starting tomorrow.
Spanish I began a few weeks back but I got sick for a couple of weeks and could not focus so I am re-focusing as I have always wanted to learn Spanish.
I have joined the free Deepak Chopra Abundance meditation course beginning this month to kick-start my meditation practice again.
Overall, this challenge is about focus, self-discipline and self-belief.
Thanks for reading, I look forward to connecting with you.