My income has been going down. I needed to replace my old dying car. I'm lonely for a relationship. I still don't have a stable place to work. It seems like every week I've been dealing with a new stressor. Then a few days ago the father of my children told me that he will be moving out of state. That leaves me a single parent FULL TIME. I am petrified of not being able to handle it. Not being enough for my kids. Not being able to afford all the child care that will now be needed. And I'm most petrified that no one will want to date me anymore. Men my age have kids that are going off to college. And even if someone was willing to date me, when will I be able to do it since I have my kids all the time? This is where my head has been going the past few days. And I've been getting more and more nervous.
Then today, after I dropped my kids at school, I was so mentally exhausted I had to go back to sleep. Then I woke up and took a long walk. I repeated these mantras in my head for over 35 minutes:
EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT OK.
LOVE AND ROMANCE WILL FIND ME.
MY CAREER WILL TURN AROUND.
MY KIDS WILL BE FINE AND THRIVE.
This really helped. Because I was able to not think negatively for a chunk of time. I went on to have a decent day. I still don't have answers to my question but I'm at least able to not feel overcome with worry. I'm calling a lawyer tomorrow about child support. People tell me that there are men out there that will accept a woman with kids full time. I have one person in mind who can babysit for me. I still don't know what will happen with work but my career is solid and I know I can build it if I really want to.
I WANT SO BADLY TO STAY POSITIVE. I KNOW I NEED TO KEEP MY VIBRATION UP. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?
Sending love and light to everyone! Good night.