As I opened my eyes this morning, I just wanted to stay in bed. However, I knew I had an interview to go to...it's definitely not my dream job....so I was debating whether or not I should go. Some kind of energy kept pulling me behind, I finally rose when my roomate's alarm started (in which she did not bother turning off until I walked into her bedroom). I lingered around in my office, and finally got ready...and headed down. The journey was hard, my bus came late, and there was a lot of problems with the trains as well as the streetcars. While waiting for the streetcar a nice looking man (who did not seem homeless, but was holding a sleeping bag to his back) asked for some change or a token for the public transportation ride. Normally I wouldn't say I had any or would've only given if some change was really handy (in my pockets). However, for some reason I felt very giving......as if even if I was not in the best financial state myself I can still give a bit of what I have at the moment....because if this guy is desperate enough to ask for something then it must mean he must really need that money. I understand how it can be to be unemployed, to need money, and to be worried about the future..........so I guess in some ways I was giving to myself........thinking that if I had gotten to that point I would wish the world would reach out to me, and help. Perhaps that's what I wished for this man, and all the other people who needed support. Why does there have to be homeless people, and people on the streets asking for money? Strangely I ran into my premier (he is like our president)....perhaps the universe was telling me to help in some way?
I was running late for the interview, however I did not panic. Whatever is meant to be will happen. So I just thought to myself it will be okay. The company basically is one that helps charities raise money. The interviewer named Cameron talked about United Way, and other charities.....and I just thought to myself wow I really do love helping people......and if this is the way the Universe wants to lead me then so be it. It's not the most glamorous job, but at least I know I am helping others (if I do get this job); Cameron, and I seemed to like each other through the interview process, but who knows until I receive the call. Have you ever felt some kind of energy trying to stop you from doing something, and yet somehow something inside you gives you the strength to just go, and try?? Well that's what I did. To just see what the company was all about, and then make a better choice of whether or not to take the job (after being more knowledgeable about the company, and if they hire me). I just felt such an accomplishment because I wanted to get something done, went for it (even with all the obstacles/delays), and liked it. So sometimes we do have to force ourselves to go against everything that seems to be telling us not to go (for whatever it is). If I had made a comittment to go to an interview, I must show up out of respect.
It was such a nice warm beautiful day, that I just wanted to stay outside - I didn't. I headed home, and later went to the library (in which I got some more bestsellers in hardcover for $1.00 each). Afterwards I spent some time outside reading/writing, and enjoying the view.......taking in the NOW (at that moment)......and also made a video about it.
Later I met up with my parents for dinner, and afterwards I returned to my house. Brief argument with my roomate (not gonna talk about it as I just finished calming myself down by talking to a friend via MSN Messenger). She really had bought down my happy feeing that I had the whole day.....and I am just now releasing my anger. I hate arguing but it was basically a huge misunderstanding.
Just trying to *be happy in the now.*
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can go from many states of feelings.......happy to anger.....to a sense of being calm, and being happy within the moment. As long as we know how to shift our feelings to the way we want, then we can make things so much better for ourselves & possibly others too.
Hope you all have great CCOR days!!