I have been really off track in my first season. My goal going into this was to recommit to living my life purposefully and practicing meditation and affirmations, but really I've just been doing the same thing I've always done. At this point, it comes down to either: a) restarting season one or b) taking this season as a small step into a larger journey, recognizing the failures and moving forward. I'm not going to decide tonight, but I figured I'd put it out there.
I've really been dealing with some things the last couple of years, and more seriously the past year, and it is really taking more effort than I could have imagined trying to get back on track. I've never been one to quit (I may talk about it, but I don't do it) and I'm trying to figure out if my current situation is a lesson in knowing when it's time to walk away, or just another one of those things thrown my way to strengthen me. While I may be able to make it through this, is it really worth everything that it's taking out of me to do so? Past situations of similar issues have me leaning towards the walking away notion, but there is also an enormous amount of pressure to see things through.
Part of the reason I joined CCOR is to move to a place where I have more clarity and focus with my goals, so I guess the next step is to actively participate. Whether I restart or continue with the current season, I may need smaller goals in what I will actually practice and grow into the bigger ones.