Hey everyone, we did it!!! Me and my partner are foster parents to a delightful, mischevious, clever, funny and beautiful little 10 year old girl. Needless to say, since she movedin with us in June, I haven't had much time to blog...
It's been a helluva journey. In May she (I'll call her T for confidentiality)was coming for visits 3-4 times a week for 6 weeks until her moving day. She's lived with other families who couldn't manage her, so the social workers wanted to make damn sure this was the right home for her; she will stay with us until she's at least 18. Our home is good because we don't have other children - she finds it difficult when other children get attention, and uses all kinds of ingenious yet anti-social strategies to ensure her carers' attention is securely focused on HER. Our aim is to give her lots of love, attention and care so she starts to feel more secure and doesn't need to freak out if it wanders away for a millisecond. And for her to learn empathy towards others. She's really charming - she knows how to project confidence and make friends, which is wonderful.
We cannot believe how lucky we are! We were prepared for almost anything - children with learning disabilities, aversion to authority, petty theft, promiscuity, refusal to wash, drug addiction, pathological lying, to name just a few issues we may have had to face with our new foster child. We were prepared to face major difficulties, we saw from other foster carers that that seemed a reasonable expectation. But at the same time I was intending for the 'right' child to come to us - someone we could make a positive difference to, someone who we would love and who would love us, and that caring for this child would feel fun and challenging, not draining or soul-destroying. T is a lovely child, just amazing. I'm really thankful she's come to live with us.
I also did some sneaky soul-link meditations in advance of meeting T. I used Orin meditations aimed at finding your soulmate, but I believe a soulmate can be anyone you may have a strong connection to - a close friend or a new child. In the past, I used the meditation before to meet, at a soul level, people who I was having difficulty with at work, and send them love/ understanding and ask them to go easy on me. It helped a lot. So I thought it would be good to send my love and good wishes to the child we never met before, and invite him/ her to come and live with us! It's funny how many times I reflect back at the challenges I faced at work, which I dreaded to deal with so much that I had to find spiritual solutions or solutions within myself (because my efforts to make everything right in the external world were so tedious and draining) - these experiences now help me to deal with my life now. I really thought hard about how I would meet an extremely difficult child, and I thought that soul-level work would be a necessary part of that.
I finally quit my job too! So I am a full-time Mum and homemaker, which is also delightful. I've got time to concentrate on my artistic projects now, and my crystal meditations. I feel unbelieveably blessed!
Love and light everyone xx