I have to admit to feeling extremely - I don't blah? Out of faith? Of inspiration? I know this is of my own manufacturing. Oh yeah - I'm painfully aware of that. I had been volunteering where I was working, but decided that I needed to move on. I was neither staff member, nor volunteer - just some weird in between kind of thing, that frankly wasn't doing me any good.
So I've been looking for work. And I'm not the most of patient of people. I've been trying to affirm that work is out there and it's coming. I've been looking, or starting to look. I registered with one agency - kept checking back in - in my experience if you don't, they forget about you.
Thing is I'm a pretty good all rounder, if I do say it myself. Aside from being a qualified teacher, I've got customer service experience, retail experience, I've done office work, supervisory experience...factory work. You name it, if it's legal I've done it. Yet when I checked in with where I'd registered on Friday, it was to be informed rather smugly that they had nothing for me and would be in touch if they had.
Now I'm not being precious here. I know there are other people out there who need work. But there were jobs in the window I could do; I'd brought a printout of several jobs I was interested in. But they wouldn't have it. So screw them and I'll find something else.
I've applied for several things online, teaching posts and the like so hopefully that will turn something up. I'd like to work from home at least some of the time. I'm just waiting for my details to be processed with one online teaching company, so that does look promising. And I got accepted with this writing company; now all I've got to do is keep my fingers crossed that some of the bids I've put in will get accepted.
I don't regret leaving my old job. My mental health is more important than anything else. But I need something else - I have a very active mind and I'm starting to look at paid people with envious eyes. I need that interaction - I just have a dog and no partner currently, so it's very easy to give in to a fit of the gloomies.
And money will become a real issue soon. I'm not in danger of losing my house. I have begun to sort my creditors out - yet I've still got a long way to go. I just want it sorted out already. I can't keep holding onto what I've got because I have to give them something. No need to tell me I'm blocking things and myself by not trusting that more money will come in, because I know that.
Thing is I can't see that I could get help in terms of going to a place that helps you sort out your debts. I don't mean that I'm above getting advice. But it's difficult to work out a monthly budget when you don't know what your monthly budget is going to be, because yeah, you guessed it, you need to get a job. Though having said that I have an idea of what I can get by on a month, I just need to start need to start bringing something in.
I've been trying affirmations. Concentrating on abundance - not worrying how it's going to be delivered, but having faith that it will. But I don't feel that. I've tried acting as if; that I've a got job and it's paying and isn't that great. But I don't feel it. And if I can't it, then it's not gonna happen.
I'm not ready to give up, by a long chalk. Nor am I quitting the 100 day challenge. But does anyone out there have some tried and tested advice on shifting your mood? God knows I spent most of yesterday looking at inspirational videos on youtube and ones on the LoA. They didn't seem to be helping, though I suspect that was more my mood than anything else. So...what do y'all do in a similar position? Answers on a postcard, please.