I haven't blogged in a while and at first it was because I didn;t know what to write... I'm still unsure where to go from here.. but I remember when I first joined this site how excited I was to be a part of it, I remember how excited I was to start my journey towards my goals...
5 days ago my mother got admitted into hospital and is currently on life support. Five days ago she was healthy and vibrant, at midnight she started having diarrhea and vomiting, things went downhill from there... LOA states that one usually attracts what happens to oneself. I dont believe anyone in my family attracted this. I have been in and out of hospital, in and out of prayer.. weaving an invisible quilt of faith, parts drenched in tears...
This is not at all how i envisioned my journey. My goals have been put on pause but i have been trying to use LOA to get my mum better. I'm a Christian and I have prayed and pleaded, demanded and begged with God for my mothers life.
When "life" happens where do my goals and LOA stand? How can I be in alignment? Does it matter? Is it even important?
Even though my goals have been on hold I'm going to do what I can each day.. that's what I say to myself when I'm out of hospital... when I get home I'm tired or I start to feel that my goals are trivial and insignificant... in comparison to my mum being in the hospital...
I say to myself while watching my mum lying on a hospital bed sedated... " She will get better, she will get better, she will get better, she will get better"
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and i start to prepare for the worst ... sometimes my faith runs low... and I'm asking you for a re-fill.. has anyone ever been through anything like this before?
How am I supposed to approach my goals?
lease say a short prayer for my mum (Rebecca Makala) , or do a short visualisation where perhaps you are reading a post where I describe her improvement in health and express joy in her return home!
Last night, the patient in the bed next to my mum died, the day before that another lady died and I watched her adult son, plead for her to "come back"...
Yesterday while I tried to sleep by my mums bedside, I got a moment to pray and just say thank you that my mum is STILL HERE. Thank you that I am growing through this experience. Thank you that THIS experience has got me to value life and how fragile it is. Thank you that THIS experience has got me to QUIT smoking completely.Thank you that this experience is providing me with time to get close to my Creator and the universe.. Thank you that I am humbled...
At my high moments, I don't doubt that she will pull through. At my lowest I grieve for my possible loss.
my heart is desperate.. please pray for us and send us positive vibes..


I love you all Co-creators!
(I still havent given up on my journey <or my mum>, neither should you.)
Comment
Comment by Charlie Cakes on November 7, 2011 at 8:54am
Comment by Gloria Alexander on November 6, 2011 at 1:43pm I'm so sorry, I didn't saw that your mum was sick in hospital not even know she passed on. I was on vacation and sometimes logg in quickly, posted some words and logg off again. But because I was missing your comments and bloggs I went slowly through your profile.
I'm really shocked today when I read this. What a great loss....I donn't have words to say, I donn't know how to consolate you...I'm sitting here and just crying, that I wasn't there for you when you needed me, but instead of crying, I'm going to pray for your strenght and that in some way you will find peace with Gods decision. Sometimes God put us to heavy tests we donn't know why. Take good care of yourself, take the time that is necesary to recover the loss & pain. Whishing to hear from you soon....With love & respect...Gloria
Comment by Elise Burdick on October 24, 2011 at 12:28am Charlie Cakes,
I am envisioning you holding an open space for healing to come into.
I am envisioning you finding peace within this experience when the time is right. For now,
I am wishing you the courage to feel what you need to, in order to process everything that comes with the loss of a mother.
I am holding you in that space knowing you will find your way home.
We will be here for you when you return.
Blessings,
Elise
Comment by Christine on October 24, 2011 at 12:05am I am so sorry for your loss, Charlie Cakes. My heart, thoughts,and prayers are with you and your family at this diffilut time. I love you.
Christine
Comment by Charlie Cakes on October 23, 2011 at 11:51pm
Comment by Tracey on October 21, 2011 at 3:57pm
Comment by Christine on October 21, 2011 at 3:52pm My dear Charlie Cakes I love you and I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now. I have lost both of my parents. My mother died after we made the decision to take her off of life support and my Dad died from brain Cancer. I know how hopeless and helpless you feel.
In situations like this, all you can say is "God's will be done." I do believe in faith healing, but perhaps it's your Mom's time to go? Facing our own deaths, and the deaths of our loved ones. is one thing that we all have in common.
I will keep you and your Mom and your family in my thoughts and in my prayers. If I can do anything for you, please let me know.
Light and Love Always,
Chris
Comment by Camilla on October 21, 2011 at 6:23am Im so sorry that you have a hard time now, but I can tell you that I have been through the same. My mother got very ill 1 year ago. My father called me and told me they think she would die. But I was sick myself that time and could not travel to visit her. Then I prayed for help but not to Good but looked inside myself and into a blue light. Maybe you think this is rare but just imagine a blue light and a warm feeling will come to you. Then see yourself talking to your mother, see that she is healthy and growing stronger. I dont now if this help for you but for me that worked. My mother is now with ok health but she is alive and I am so happy that she make it through. Hope that this can help and just keep praying.
Best wishes to you!
Big hug for Camilla
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